Dear Abby: Grandfather will boycott kid’s graduation unless he gets VIP treatment

DEAR ABBY My parents have been divorced for almost years My father is still furious with my mother and she is indifferent toward him Related Articles Dear Abby My boss s personal tasks should not be my obstacle Dear Abby She won t cut ties with her ex because she loves his dog Dear Abby It s going to be awkward to tell him he can t sit there Dear Abby She s refusing to have a gorgeous wedding like her bridezilla sister s Dear Abby We thought we were talking privately but it was caught on her doorbell video My son is about to graduate from high school and both grandparents want to attend the ceremony and dinner afterward However Dad refuses to be in proximity or even sight line to my mom He wants me to plan the day so there is no chance they will cross paths separate cars separate routes separate seats separate photos separate meals at different restaurants My brother did this when his kid graduated and it was a lot of work It is silly They are years old and should be able to sit down the row from each other without throwing a tantrum I want to hand out tickets to the ceremony and make one dinner reservation and anyone who wants to come and be civil is welcome My son is upset with me because his grandfather is guilt-tripping him about us not making it practicable for him to be at the graduation However my son isn t willing to take over the logistical strategizing for how my parents can enter and leave the building with no chance of interacting Am I right that this is silly For what it s worth Mom doesn t care one way or the other DAUGHTER WITH A DILEMMA DEAR DAUGHTER What your father refuses to recognize is that these special occasions are NOT all about him and his grudge against your mother presumably for having the audacity to leave him Because you are unwilling to jump through hoops to accommodate his childish demanding behavior tell your father that if he can t bury the hatchet on this special occasion and celebrate your son s achievement you will understand and omit him from the guest list The choice is his to make whether to celebrate his grandson s milestone or continue to feed his grudge DEAR ABBY After his regular job my middle-aged son drives for a ride-sharing company late into the night He works hard because he demands the extra money to endorsement his wife who also works outside the home and their three children I am not wealthy but when I noticed his car was a very old piece of junk with miles on it and leaked oil and water I gave him to buy a new one I appealed him not to tell anyone except his immediate family Instead he informed his wife and children that he had purchased the new car and made no mention of Grandpa me I was hoping for a little goodwill from my grandchildren who were thrilled with the car and maybe even my daughter-in-law Something like Gee thanks Grandpa that was thoughtful and generous of you Related Articles Asking Eric What should my grandson know about his parents messy divorce Harriette Cole How can I get him to stop smoking around the kids Miss Manners I was called a thief for getting fizzy water without paying Dear Abby My boss s personal tasks should not be my dilemma Asking Eric My crush on the supermarket guy has upended my life Was I wrong NO THANKS IN CALIFORNIA DEAR NO THANKS According to a great number of religions the highest form of charity is that which is ANONYMOUS Your gift to your son came from the heart but it shouldn t have been given expecting to be thanked by your grandchildren Your son is safe thanks to your generosity and that in itself should be your reward Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA