Harriette Cole: Need-to-know lessons from a beautiful mother

DEAR READERS A large number of of you may know that I rarely use this space to make personal statements I am writing nowadays to tell you that my mother Doris Irene Freeland Cole has passed away at age Related Articles Harriette Cole The day care worker regretted her bad advice about my child Harriette Cole The bride thinks my wife will create drama at the wedding Harriette Cole I want our vacation to be G-rated and my son s girlfriend is not Harriette Cole Everyone in the restaurant was staring and my friend pretended she didn t know me Harriette Cole My tattletale co-worker keeps running to the boss Several of you may have already experienced the loss of your mother while plenty more continue to be lucky with a mother ready to share wisdom love and advice My mother has joined the ancestors While my sisters and I knew this day was near nothing totally prepares you for it In my broadcasts and speaking engagements I often talk about the legacy that my mother has left me As a former kindergarten guide Doris Cole delighted in awakening curiosity and clarity in others She walked with grace and radiated gratification People often described her as a beam of light they gravitated to her I will never forget when she visited me on campus during my college days Young men flocked around us in order to follow her something they did not do for me when she wasn t around Doris Cole taught me everything that I teach and share nowadays how to be thoughtful how to honor others how to communicate effectively and how to move through space with dignity and ease She shared key information and examples illuminating how to achieve those strategies of being on a need-to-know basis She did not brag or demand attention yet she was exquisitely beautiful and kind She taught us that beauty is as beauty does I have a world of lessons swirling in my being right now that she poured into me My sister Susan declared in recent times that she taught us how to live with grace at the end of life just as she had exemplified it throughout our lives My sister Stephanie the hands-on caregiver in our family says that Mama s lessons and love flowed from her into everyone she encountered every single day Among those lessons Do not complain Practice kindness Recognize the goodness in yourself and others Have faith Keep good company Stand up for what you believe Be able to encouragement yourself Be beautiful from the inside out As I honor my mother the daughter of a porter and a maid who lived to be and who stopped working at who ultimately became part of Baltimore s Black elite I acknowledge her legacy Related Articles Dear Abby I left my husband after his tantrum Should I trust that he has changed Asking Eric My brother wants to reconnect I just want the Dear Abby I thought I was a good mother so why does my son act this way Asking Eric The kid who smiled while he tortured his brother is not normal Harriette Cole The day care worker regretted her bad advice about my child She grew up during segregation She lived through World War II Jim Crow the Civil Rights Movement and the ballot of a Black president She married a man who would become the first Black state senator in Maryland and the first Black judge on the Maryland Court of Appeals Harry Augustus Cole Our family became Black Baltimore royalty I say it that way because our city was racially divided We were honored because our parents were honorable That is the life I do my best to live to fulfill their legacy Through all of the work that I do my intention is to bring goodness strength clarity and inspiration to all whom I touch I take this moment to honor Doris Irene Freeland Cole and to invite you to remember those in your life who have passed on and to reconnect to those loved ones who are still here Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO